


It’s Always Been You

by Jones_Daniel25



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 12:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16933641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jones_Daniel25/pseuds/Jones_Daniel25
Summary: This is my first fanfic, so go easy on me y’all :). The plot is not original lol, I’ve read multiple fanfics with a similar plot and this is my take on it. I know there are a shit ton of grammatical errors but I wrote this completely in the notes of my phone. Also transferring from my notes to here probably messed it up somewhere so my apologies in advance. Anyway thanks to anyone who takes time to read it:)





	1. CHAPTER ONE

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, so go easy on me y’all :). The plot is not original lol, I’ve read multiple fanfics with a similar plot and this is my take on it. I know there are a shit ton of grammatical errors but I wrote this completely in the notes of my phone. Also transferring from my notes to here probably messed it up somewhere so my apologies in advance. Anyway thanks to anyone who takes time to read it:)

I'm distracted and chuckling to myself about a ridiculous Facebook post when I'm startled by Dean's hand on my shoulder. "Hey, Buddy! Sorry I scared ya." Dean smiles I blush as I immediately return his smile. "Hello, Dean!" I respond cheerfully. "So what were you laughing at?" Dean questions. I've known Dean long enough to know when he is trying to avoid or stall something he is nervous about. I respond anyway to humor him for a bit before he says what's on his mind. I give him my trademark head tilt and narrow my eyes, "Wouldn't you like to know, Winchester." Dean narrows his eyes in response, "That's why I asked, Cas." We stare at each other for a moment before I casually shrug my shoulders and change the subject, "Why are we really here Dean?" I ask. Dean phoned me earlier and asked me to meet him for lunch. While it isn’t unusual for Dean and myself to meet up for lunch at least once a week, his tone over the phone seemed off. Dean sighs and says, "You always see through me Cas." "I just know you well enough to tell when something is making you nervous, but seriously Dean, what's up?" I reply "I need your thoughts on something." He says as he nervously rubs the back of his neck. I'm momentarily distracted watching his bicep flex as he does so, he has fantastic arms, but I quickly refocus my self. "I'm all ears." I say while looking at him expectantly. "I'm thinking of proposing to Lisa, and I wanted your opinion because I know you two don't exactly get along." Dean rushes out in one breath. I try to keep my face passive as I process this bomb Dean just dropped on me. After a few minutes of silence I finally respond, "My opinion of her and your relationship hasn't mattered in the past, why the HELL would it fucking matter now?" Dean opens his mouth to respond, but I keep going, "Also, it's your life Dean. Do whatever you want," and with that I get out and storm out of the restaurant. Dean follows right on my heels, and grabs my shoulder and spins me to face him on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant. We stare each other down for what seems like forever. The look of anger and pain clearly marring his beautiful face; I'm sure my face mirrors his the only difference being the reasons behind the looks. I've been in love with my best friend of twenty-five years since we were kids. I'm pissed that he would considering a woman like Lisa, he deserves someone far better than her, and I'm pained because I wish it were me. However, I know Dean is about as straight as they come. I accepted that he and I will never be anything more than friends and that he will marry a woman one day. It's just I always thought her and I would get along, but that is not the case here. If I were to guess the reason of the look of pain and anger on Dean's face, it's probably because he thinks I can't be happy for him and I don't want him to be happy. I shake my head and say, "Goodbye, Dean," as I turn and walk away. He doesn't stop me this time.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

I head back to work feeling emotionally drained from my lunch with Dean, and we didn't even eat. Just another reason for me to be in a bad mood. Dealing with coworkers and customers is the last thing I want to do, however I love my job at the book far too much to ditch the rest of my shift. Even if I may have just lost my best friend.  
Charlie, my red-haired partner in crime and fellow bookstore employee, greets me in her usual chirpy manner. Never being able to mask my emotions her look goes from cheerful to concerned as she asks,  
"What's wrong, Cas?"  
"It's nothing, Char. I don't want to talk about it." I say  
Under normal circumstances she would annoy me until I told her what was wrong, but I guess the look on my face makes her back down. I get behind the counter and put on my best customer service face in attempt to make it through the rest of the day.  
~~~  
After a few hours of hell I finally clock out. It wasn't really busy, but I just couldn't stop thinking about him and her and him and me. Shortly after I returned to work, a heavy feeling settled in my gut and hasn't relented.  
As I'm making my way towards the door the sweet old lady I work for, Missouri, stops me and tells me not to worry about coming in tomorrow. She has an odd way of picking up on the emotions of her staff; it's one of the reasons I love my job. She just makes things seem so easy and comfortable, I thank her and bid her good evening and make my way out the door.  
My apartment isn't too far away from the store, so I usually walk, given the weather is permitting. However, tonight I wish I had my car because I want to get home as soon as possible. After a second thought I decide it's good I don't have my car because it would only make me think of Dean. He and I worked together to restore it a few years back, and now I associate it with him. I chuckle as I recall the look on his face when I showed him the cheap car I bought but needed help with.  
"Really, Cas? A fuckin' bug?" he had said.  
"I like it," I replied causally.  
He chuckled and shook his head as he said, "Of course you do. Alright let's get to work."  
~~~  
I stop outside the door to my building and take a deep breath before I walk in. Once inside I run up the stairs to my floor, feeling the impending tears I've been holding back all day threatening to finally make an appearence. I struggle to unlock my door but once inside, I rush to my couch and throw myself down before the first sob wreaks my body. I heave over and over again just picturing the look on Dean's face outside the restaurant. Thinking of how it's just not fair that I had to fall for my straight best friend. Although it's not hard to fall for a man like Dean Winchester.   
Images of his ridicuously bright green eyes, crooked white smile, and dirty blond hair that never seems to lay flat fill my mind. The man is undeniably handsome. He is tall and built so beautifully with broad shoulders and and a jawline sharp enough to cut glass. However, it's not just his godly appearence that makes him irresistble. It's his warm and caring personality. It's his selflessness and courage to put his life on the line everyday to safe people from fires. It's his proctectiveness and dedication to his little brother, Sam, whom he has raised since their parents died in house fire when were kids. It was his acceptance of my sexuality and willingness to take me in after my extremely religious parents kicked me out. It's all of these things in more that caused me to fall for him.  
I'm unaware of how long I lay there crying until I'm startled by a knock on the door and glance at the clock to see an hour has past. Pathetic, I think.  
"It's open!" I call out hoarsely, knowing it's Charlie. Who else would show up after 9PM on a week night.  
She walks into the livingroom and looks at the pathetic pile on the couch, also known as me, and just stares at me.  
"What?" I say eying her back  
"You look like shit, Novak." she says deadpan  
I stick my tongue out at her and put a pillow over my face. She plops down on the couch and says,   
"Dean told me what happened."  
I groan in response and turn to face the back of the couch. Charlie places a hand on my back and quietly says,   
"He is really upset you know."  
"So am I," I snap.  
"I realize that Cas, but Dean doesn't know why you're upset." Charlie replies.  
"Trust me, he knows why." I mumble  
"Not the real reason..." she says "He thinks it's just because you don't like Lisa."  
"So what are you saying I should do?" I question  
I feel her shrug as she says, "You could tel him the real reason."  
I quickly turn to look at her and snap, "Yeah, that's a fucking brilliant idea Char. I should just tell my STRAIGHT best friend of twenty-five years that I love him and that I want him to marry me and not his witch of a girlfriend."  
"Just a thought, Cas." she replies  
After a few minutes of slience Charlie asks,   
"Why don't you like her? Is it just because she is with Dean?"  
I sit up and sigh, "No... it's not that."  
"Then what is it?" Charlie pushes  
I look at her and decide to tell her because she can and will question me all night if she has to.  
"I just think she is an awful human being" I say flatly.  
"Care to elaborate?" replies Charlie.  
I sigh and say, "Lisa never lets Dean be Dean. She is always talking down to him and belittling him. I can see how it makes him feel, and it hurts me because Dean deserves the world. He is settling for her because he doesn't believe he can do better. I mean, yeah, she can have her sweet moments and she's drop dead gorgeous, but is it really worth it?"  
Charlie shakes her head and says, "Have you tried talking to Dean about it?"  
I nod and say, "Yeah, but he just makes excuses for her, like she had a bad day or she just doesn't like being in public and doesn't know how to act. It's all stupid..."  
I'm cut off by my stomach growling. Charlie shakes her head and grabs my hand pulling me toward the kitchen saying,  
"I have a feeling you haven't eaten today, so I'll cook. Just keep talking."  
"Fine," I pout.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

Charlie forces me to eat some pasta and I begrudgingly have to admit that I feel better. As were doing the dishes Charlie says,   
"I never realized that Lisa treats him like that."   
"You don't really hang out with them that much, Char." I say.  
"Still makes me want to knock that bitch into next week." she grumbles.  
I smile and say, "Now you're talking."  
We finish and go back to the livingroom and as we sit down Charlie kin of changes the subject,   
"You know it took years for me to tell Jo I loved her because I was too scared to lose her, but now we're looking for surrogates."  
I chuckle and say, "Well Char, there is a major difference between Dean and myself and You and Jo."  
"Do enlighten me of this 'major difference' Cas," Charlie retorts.  
"Jo is gay, and Dean isn't." I say sadly.  
"Nah, Dean is 50/50," Charlie laughs.  
"Please," I scoff, "Dean has never showed interest in another man."  
Charlie rolls her eyes and says, "He points out men he thinks are attractive all the time."  
"That's just Dean being comfortable in his sexuality." I say.  
"That may be true Cas, but I've seen the way he looks at you." Charlie says  
"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask.  
"Anyone with eyes can see how in love you guys are, it's probably the reason Lis isn't your biggest fan." Charlie says simply.  
I roll my eyes and say, "Suppose Dean is bi, he could still do better than me. I mean he is an adonis and I'm just plain. Nothing extraordinary."  
She shakes her head and says, "Cas, when are you going to get over this ridiculous concept that you're not attractive. Your striking blue eyes and dark artfully messy hair, and not to mention your banging runners body. You're an incredibly handsome man, in fact if we were both straight I'd smash in a heartbeat."  
We have a good laugh about that until Charlie switches back to seriousness and says,   
"Truly, Cas. You're a catch and not just because of your looks."  
I just look down at the floor and mumble, "I don't think so."  
Charlie is about to respond when her phone dings. She smiles down at it for a minute before she says,  
"I have to go, Jo misses me."  
"Tell her I said 'Hi'" I say as I hug Charlie goodbye.  
I walk her to the door and before she leaves, Charlie stops, puts a hand to my face and says,   
"I know that Dean's happiness is really important to you, but you deserve to be happy too. And you guys can be happy together. Just think about it."  
And with that she's gone.


	4. CHAPTER 4

I think about what Charlie said long after she left. Maybe she is right, and Dean has feelings for me. If he does though it brings two questions to the table 1.) Why has he never made a move or tell me outright? and 2.) Why would he have gotten together with Lisa if he has feelings for me?  
The answer to question one is a question in and of itself. If the feelings are mutual why should I be the one to make the move. I've been out since I was sixteen and Dean knows this considering he is the one who took me in when my parents kicked me out. He has all the information he need in order to make the move. If he is bi, I was unaware and why would I pursue or make a move on a straight man. Especially my best friend. The ball is completely in his court in this case. As for the other question, I have no idea.  
I sigh inwardly, pissed that the logical part of myself just proved Dean doesn't love me. If he loved me he would have made the move by now considering he has all the information he needs. Charlie is wrong. It's as simple as that.  
One thing that Charlie is right about is that Dean's happiness is incredibly important to me. After everything that man has been through he deserves it. So, if he wants to marry Lisa I'll support him and stand by his side. We've been through way too much together these past twenty-five years to throw it all away because of my stupid feelings.  
Knowing tomorrow is Thursday, and Dean works the day shift at the fire station I decide to go apologize and tell him I support his decision.  
~~~  
I stop by Dean's favorite diner on my way to the station and grab him a burger and a piece of his favorite pie, pecan, as a peace offering. Plus, I kind of owe him lunch anyway.   
When I arrive at the station, Dean is organizing and restocking the aid car whilst singing off key to ACDC. He looks up and sees me and I'm greeted with a frown. I smile shyly and meekly hold up the food. He shakes his head and smiles down at his feet. Damn, why is it so attractive when he does that. I mentally chastise my self for that thought as he makes his way over to me.  
"Hello, Dean." I say as he approaches.  
"Hi, Cas." he says cautiously.  
I awkwardly shove the food in his hand and he says thanks as he laughs at my awkwardness.  
"Walk with me?" I question hopefully.  
He nods and sets his food down on the table by the door. After walking in silence for a few minutes I finally work up the courage to talk so I grab his hand and pull him to a stop.  
"Dean, I'm so so so sorry for how I reacted yesterday," I say as tears begin to flow.  
"Shit!" I think as a begin to sob, "This in not how I rehearsed this happening. Why the hell do I have to be such an emotional person?"  
Dean says nothing as he wraps his arms around my waist and pulling me close. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in the junction of his neck and shoulder. Dean always smells so good, I think to myself. He pulls away, far to quickly in my opinion and says,  
"It's okay, Cas."  
"No, it's not Dean. I was a bad friend, and I just want you to know that all I want is for you to be happy and if that means marrying Lisa, I'll support you.  
Dean pulls me back into his arms and whispers,   
"Thanks, Cas. I love you."  
"I love you too, Dean" I respond, Dean not noticing my voice cracking as I say so.  
As we pull apart Dean looks nervous again. I sigh and say,   
"What now, Dean?"  
He looks down and says, "If Lisa says yes, will you be my best man?"  
I'm shocked and respond, "I thought you would want Sam to be your best man."  
Dean chuckles and says, "Who the hell says I can't have two?"  
I shrug and answer, "No one I guess. Of course Dean, I would love too.  
His answering grin is beautiful enough to put me in cardiac arrest.


	5. CHAPTER 5

*TWO MONTHS LATER*  
I'm jolted awake and pulled out of a not family friendly dream about Dean by my alarm clock. Getting out of bed and heading toward the bathroom, I mentally scold myself for hving such an inappropriate dream about my best friend.   
"He's getting married in two days." I say to my reflection in the bathroom mirror before I get in the shower.   
After my shower I get dressed for my breakfast with Sam and Dean. I'm not for sure what it is all about, but my guess would be last minute wedding duties for Lisa. She insisted on being a December bride, so we've all been busting ass to get the wedding thrown together this past few months.  
~~~  
I soon as I walk in the diner I see Dean waving me to the table. I smile and greet both Sam and Dean when I get to the table. As I sit down I'm reminded of our daily breakfasts we had while growing and I smile. Things are so different now, and there is nothing I would change. Well maybe one thing.   
"So what is on the agenda for today, Dean?" Sam asks  
"Nothing, Sammy. This is just a Thank You Breakfast for all the work y'all have put in the past few months. I really appreciate it and it means the world to me." Dean responds  
~~~  
After a very pleasant meal we part ways, knowing the next time we see each other will be the night of the rehearsal dinner.


	6. CHAPTER SIX

I felt nauseous all through out the rehearsal dinner. I thought I had come to peace with this wedding, but I haven't. Lisa was a raging bitch the whole time. I left early because I didn't want to say something to Lisa that I would regret. What really set me off was when she told Dean he couldn't have a moment of silence for his parents because it was stupid. The look on Dean's face, and Sam's face for that matter hurt me, and Lisa didn't even looked bothered. What the hell is wrong with her.  
We booked a hotel ballroom for the ceremony and reception, and decided we would all just stay here to save time on the big day. After Lisa's response to the moment of silence I told Dean I wasn't feeling well and I was going to go lay down in my room. He was okay with it but I know he would have preferred me to stay.   
Sit down on my bed for a few moments just thinking about tomorrow and before I know it, I'm crying. Sobbing actually.   
"I can't be here for this," I think. "I should just go, it'll be better for everyone." I say aloud  
I start packing my stuff, deciding to leave a note for Dean, because if I see him I'll end up staying and I can't put myself through that. As I'm finishing up the letter I hear a knock on my door, and dread fills my stomach. Knowing my luck that's Dean.  
"Come in," I say hoarsely  
Dean walks in and immeadiately notices my bags and his face falls.  
"You're leaving?" he says in disbelief  
"I'm so sorry, Dean." is the only thing I can say before the tears start falling again.  
"WHY?" Dean shouts.  
"I JUST CAN'T BE HERE, DEAN" I shout in return, getting to my feet.  
"THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER, CAS" he yells, tears falling from his face now.   
In a random burst of bravery, I cross the room, grab his shirt, and kiss him. I'm expecting the kiss to be short. I figured he would push me away and leave, however that's not what happens. Instead his arms encircle my waist and pull me flush against him. I don't want to pull away, but I have to. He's not mine. As I pull away I whisper,  
"That's why." and grab my stuff and walk out.   
He doesn't come after me, but I wouldn't expect him to.


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

~THE CEREMONY~  
I'm watching Lisa walk down the aisle and the only thing I can think of is Cas, and how he kissed me last night. He actually has feelings for me, I know for sure now. The only reason I ever got together with Lisa is because I never dreamed that my best friend and the man I'm actually in love with would actual reciprocate my feelings. I always thought he could do and deserved better, so I settled for Lisa. I was content with that, or was at least in serious denial. Now though, I have the option to be with Cas. An option I never new I had, but now I'm stuck here. In this wedding, in this soon to be marriage. I really fucked up. She should be him, I think as Lisa comes to a stop by my side. As the pastor clears his throat to begin the ceremony the door to the ballroom crashes open. We all turn to see Cas stroll through the door with a confidence that is incredibly unlike him, but also incredibly sexy.  
"Hello, Dean." He says as he smiles and gives his trademark head tilt, and my heart nearly beats out of my chest. What is he doing?  
"Hi, Cas." I finally say, a little out of breath.  
"I suppose you're curious as to why I'm here after what happened last night." he says  
"Yeah." is all I can say  
He smirks and starts, "Well you see, last night after I finally made it home and was crying on my couch for destroying my relationship with my best friend something ocurred to me."  
Charlie pipes up from the front of the ballroom, "Please do enlighten us of what has ocurred to you, Novak."  
"Certainly," Cas responds, "Well last night after the rehearsal dinner, I decided I could not watch the man I love marry Lisa. So, I decided I was just going to go, but Dean happened to show up at room. Naturally he was pissed I was leaving and he asked why. Well apparently 'because I just can't' wasn't a good enough answer. So, I did the one thing I've wanted to do for years. I kissed him. Now what ocurred to me later, but not at the moment it happend was, he was kissing me back."  
Everyone gasps except Lisa who looks pissed, and Sam who looks like he's about to piss himself from holding back laughter. Cas continues,  
"So I'm here to ask you a question Dean."   
"Go for it, " I manage to choke out.  
"Do you love me too?"  
I freeze and just keep my eyes locked on Cas's. I can see the confidence fading, and my Cas, my dorky and shy but sexy Cas, coming to the surface. I can't stop the smile from forming on my face as I finally answer him,  
"How could I not Cas, it's always been you." the relief and joy that comes across his face is enough to finally allow myself to move. I move, walking straight for him, when he holds up a hand to stop me. I look questioningly at him and he says, his voice shaking,   
"I need to hear the words, Dean. Please." his voice cracks and wrenches my heart. I take the last two steps forward and grab his outstretched hand. I place his hand over my heart and look into his beautiful eyes and say,   
"I love you, Cas. So much, and I'm so sorry I took so long." then without waiting for a response I pull him to me and kiss him. When we finally break apart he whispers,  
"I love you too, Dean."

Cas and I are pulled from our moment by the sounds of Sam and Charlie's over the top celebration. We look over to them and Sam says,   
"It's about damn time Dean!" then doubles over in another wave of laughter. I turn back to Cas, but he's looking over my shoulder. As I turn I come face to face with Lisa, and in an ice cold voice she says,   
"What the hell is this?"


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT

I open my mouth is say something, but Cas gently pushes me behind him as he stares her down. After a few seconds of tense silence Cas says,  
"What this is, is Dean and I finally coming to our senses regarding how we feel about each other."  
Lisa remains impassive as she says, "I intended that question for Dean."  
I snort and say, "Well Cas pretty much hit the nail on the head with his answer."  
"Whatever," Lisa says as she brushes past us, "I can do better than you anyway Dean."  
"Good luck with that!" Cas calls to her retreating figure, voice dripping in sarcasm.  
Everyone on Lisa's side files out after her , shooting Cas and I dirty looks or snide comments as they do so. As the last person makes there way out Cas looks to me and says,   
"Think I can kiss you now without hateful stares from everybody?"  
I turn and look at the remaining group of people in the ballroom. It's all our family and friends, so I say,  
"Yeah, I think you can get away with it."  
"Good" he breathes against my mouth, already pulling my face down to his.


	9. EPILOGUE

*SIX MONTHS LATER*  
As I wake up I stretch my hand across the bed, searching for Dean's warmth only to find it absent. Confused I sit up, I always wake up before him on his days off. I wander into the kitchen, reasoning that he must have got called in for a big fire they needed extra hands for.  
I head straight for the coffee pot, knowing that is usually where Dean leaves me notes if he is in a hurry. Not finding a note I look to Hendrix, my cat who Dean found on his way home two months into our relationship, for an explaination. He meows in response and jumps off the counter, heading toward the living room  
"Thanks, pal. Real helpful." I say  
I'm about to call Dean when I hear someone knocking on the door and opening it. Charlie strolls in,  
"Morning Cas!" she chirps  
"Morning, have you seen Dean today?" I respond  
"Maybe" she says mischieviously  
I look at her quizzically  
She looks excited as she says, "That's why I'm here, go get dressed. We got to go."  
"Go where?" I ask  
She just looks at me impatiently. I roll my eyes and head to the bedroom.  
~~~  
Once we're in the car I ask, "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"  
"Nope!" is her reponse  
I sigh and look out the window. Where is Dean and what the hell is going on I think.  
We pull to a stop in front of the restaurant where Dean told me he was planning to propose to Lisa. I frown,  
"What's happening?"  
Charlie laughs and gets out of the car and sprints into the restaurant. I stare at the closing door. Charlie doesn't fucking run. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I get out of the car and head towards the door. I peek in the window and see everyone in there. Sam, his wife Jess, Charlie and Jo, some of Dean's buddies from the station, but there is no Dean. Sighing I push the door open and all eyes are on me. I meekly wave and give a shy hello to everyone. Everyone just smiles and turns their attention to the door of the kitchen. I follow suit.  
Dean walks out wearing my favorite one of his flannels, the green one that makes his eyes pop, and his nice jeans. He looks an odd mixture of nervous and confident. I start trembling, fully aware of what is about to happen. He walks over to me and grabs my hand,  
"Good Morning, Love." he smiles  
"Hello, Dean." is all I manage to get out of my mouth.  
Dean leans down and pecks my cheek, "I love you so much, you know that right?"  
I nod and he continues, "I love you, so much, and I can't even fathom an existence with out you in it." Tears are now streaming down both are faces, probably everyone's in the restaurant but I can't look away from Dean.  
"Cas," Dean says, "We've known each other since we were 5, and have been through so much, in so many places. Including this restaurant and I'm so thankful to have spent my life with someone as incredible and strong as you. However, we were never something more until recently, and the day you finally kissed me in that hotel room before my almost wedding everything finally began to feel complete. I love you, Cas Novak and there is not one damn thing I would ever change about you. Except one thing...your last name."  
He slowly sinks down to one knee and I'm full on sobbing,  
"Please, please marry me Cas. It's always been you." he pleads  
I nod quickly wiping my face and finally choke out, "Yes, of course Dean."  
Dean surges to his feet, wrapping me in his arms and kisses me until we're both giggling like idiots and everyone is cheering. He kisses me again, gently and I whisper against his lips,  
"I love you so much, but really all this before coffee?"  
He buries his face in my neck while laughing and hugging me tightly. I hug him back just as tightly with no plans to let him go anytime soon.


End file.
